“I'm scared that I'm not myself in here and I'm scared that I am”
“…Stop complaining, said the farmer
Who told you a calf to be
Why don’t you have wings to fly with
Like the swallow so proud and free…”
Ann was born and raised in the most conservative country, where people talk about political in a separated-small-group, where people tend to get shy with a hug, a kiss, and an eyes connection. When Ann was a little girl, an old man with the torturous beard, holding Ann and gives her a kiss:
“My little princess, you must be nice, be a nice, sociable girl. My little girl! My little princes!” – His cheek next to her cheek, his beard scrubs Ann’s chin, irritated little Ann. He couldn’t stop himself.
“Stop! Stop! Your beard is itching and… weird!” – Said a little Ann.
“Oh, Am I hurting you? How so? Ok, fine!” – Torturous beard man lifts little Ann down. Sad a little Ann.
People love Ann, people afraid of Ann, people respect Ann, and people give Ann the sympathy perspectives. A little Ann was a princess in the world, until someone told her that a little prince will come and take over her kingdom. “How awkward is that? A little prince? What a nonsense! Such an odd human being conversation!” – thoughts of a little Ann. But the prince came anyway. Little Ann couldn’t remember anything before that moment, it was slight, it was imperceptible, and it was joyful.
Ken was born and raised in the most miserable time of the country but getting his earlier education in the United States was a gift, something special, something valuable that Ken’s mother kept her voice up in every conversation. Ken was special. In the conservative country, a woman who married the first son and was able to give his first child a male gender, that the successful power woman. Ken’s mother holds her boasting, I think it’s getting normal lifestyle but not arrogant in the Dream Land? I meant in the United States.
“What a nonsense!” – Said and smirk Ann.
But Ken is a successful man, no one doubts that, he’s a real gentleman. At least that’s what people said. Little Ann don’t remember any more, but she always communicates in a reserved way, and if she ever speaks up some ladies at the round circle would instruct little Ann to be quiet. “Hush! This’s not a kid conversation!” a lady at the round circle explains. A round circle likes the knights of a round table, but with ladies sitting on the old bed frame in circle, together. They are power, they are respectful, and they are legendary, so they seemed to know what they are doing or even talking about. There would be an absolutely a “no” for an event called “kid and adult conversation.” In consequence, Ann inclines to reserve all arguments, the practice that had opened up many curious natural questions to Ann’s mind and also made Ann the victim of not a few partners. A little Ann feigned sleep so many times so that she could listen to any part story of the round circle or the PR strategy from the torturous man and his mother. Torturous beard man seemed quick-witted and the mother sounded really appreciating whatever he suggested. The PR strategy is also one of many adult conversations that Ann always wishes that she could getting more mature quickly just to get an approval to join both of the conversations. “How excited!” Thoughts of little Ann – “Everyone stays in the same place, at the same time, talking about the same topic. I meant everyone, I meant together. How excited! But it’s not fair that the kid needs to wait, just think about the lightbulb, there is a switch to turn on or off, but the kid can’t turn the button to grow up but at least the kid can talk… How excited! How adventure that would be!” A little Ann thinks these conversations could be about something very important, something high-end definitely not old fashion if yes nobody will be attending and of course they’re all secret stories. Ann is always afraid of missing something if she forgets that, as the Big Whale King and the torturous beard snobbishly suggested, and Ann definitely snobbishly repeat that thing of the life lesson in her brain, secretly.
Ann has a secret place, there is a Canidae. Two old dogs, a Poodle and Shih Tzu. Two young dogs, both are Retrieve, one male and one female. The Big Whale King, however, is the oldest lady.
That was way back before 2014, the year of Horse. Ann lived inside the largest room there used to be the wall room divider, one for the little princess and prince, another one was for the torturous beard man and Hello Kitty lady, but after the little princess and prince growing up they need something bigger than that separated room. “There is it! Look at how talent I am!” Said the torturous beard man. Now they have one bigger bed room but still, four people, a community in that room. The little prince looks up but quickly nods down, says nothing. It’s now a bigger room, just a bit bigger, a community, together, but isolated.
December 2013, Ann moved to the Dream Land, the United States. I think Ann should be very happy, the US is her dream. There’s Apple, there’s Microsoft, there’s Nike, and there’s Ken.